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You and Addiction - Pornography |
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| Anonymous Testimony |
God Saves a Man and a Marriage
“I’ll always remember January, 2001, when
my wife caught me on the Internet looking at pornography.
It was a Sunday and our 29 year anniversary. I could see
the hurt but also the relief on her part. She had suspected
for a while, but I thought I was so good about erasing
the different files that I wouldn’t get caught.
I remember the agony of my sexual addiction - the denial,
delusion and the blaming. A few of my many excuses were
“I’m only a man,” “I’m not
hurting anyone,” and “If only my wife was
more sexual."
My wife said I needed to get counseling or she was going
to leave. Even with the negative consequences, pain, shame
and guilt, I honestly thought I did not have a problem.
I thought at anytime I could quit but found out how controlled
I had become.
When I finally went to counseling, my wife asked for a
separation and told me in the counseling office our marriage
was over and she NO longer loved me. I knew to get healing
I needed to have God involved in my process. I knew I
needed to quit minimizing my problem, and to face the
fact that I was a “sex addict.” I had hit
“rock bottom.”
In August I was told of Prodigals International, a Christian-based
sex and love addiction program. At Prodigals they laid
a foundation to deal with the destructive core beliefs
of sexual addiction in my life. I began to understand
my addiction was my attempt to give myself what I thought
I needed. I came to realize that I had a heavenly Father
welcoming me home, who had waited patiently for me and
cared for me. I came to realize I am not a bad, unworthy
person, that I can be loved, that I need others, and sex
is not the most important need in my life. I needed to
allow God to reconstruct my views of Him, life, and myself.
Over the months at Prodigals, I learned to accept that
breaking the strongholds of addiction wasn’t going
to be a “quick fix,” that this process demanded
a change over time, and a determination.
During this time, my wife continued in counseling, and
after several months we began dating. We both realized
what we would be giving up after 30 years of marriage.
With healing, hard work, and forgiveness, and 14 months
of separation, my wife and I decided to go to marriage
counseling together. After a few sessions, I moved back
home, knowing Jesus must be the center of our life.
During these last eight months of living together again,
God has been there, restoring my relationship with my
wife. We have worked on communication, intimacy, and relationship
skills in our marriage. Not only has our marriage improved,
so has our relationship with God. My wife and I pray together
every day now. I also have seen God working and healing
in my four adult children.
As I look back, I am able to see God directing my recovery
from the time I got caught, to the counseling, to the
doors opening for me at Prodigals. I believe without the
Prodigals program I wouldn’t have had the hope,
the healing, the strength, and the belief that God would
work out my circumstances according to His plan.”
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| Anonymous Testimony |
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Like Falling In Love All Over Again…
"On August 27, 2001, my wife found out about my second
major affair and filed for divorce. The next day, I
was in the office of a fine Christian therapist. That
was the beginning of the long road back. In December,
I found out about Homecoming and started attending.
My wife says she started to notice the first real change
in me within a few weeks after starting to attend Homecoming.
I was afraid of each step, but in taking each day, one
at a time, God was there and got me through. God is
trustworthy and very gracious. On August 26th of this
year (our 30th anniversary), my wife and I moved into
our new home together. Do we still have issues? Is there
still some pain to be dealt with? Yes and yes. But we
are still just taking one day at a time, and slowly
learning to be tolerant, patient, and loving. It's been
like falling in love all over again. This time, in a
healthy way. All we can say is, 'To God be the glory,
great things He has done!'"
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